Five Life-changing Lessons Crucial to Success! — The Law of Attraction — Part 4

I have always been the type of person who likes to thoroughly research a subject and then develop a workable plan of action for either implementing a worth-while change in my life or eliminating something I feels hinders me from achieving my goals.

In the two previous lessons I have shared helpful life-changing information I’ve garnered from Dr. David Burns and the self-help benefits of cognitive behavior therapy. I see a tremendous benefit from his research for anyone who wants to enjoy life to its fullest. In this lesson we will look at his 10-Point program for identifying and untwisting your thinking, as well as, a proven 4-Step Process anyone can use for eliminating distorted thinking patterns entirely. The goal is to remove anything that hinders you from having a life brimming with health, wealth and happiness.

Dr. Burns says, “The first principle of cognitive therapy is that all your moods are created by your “cognitions,” or thoughts. A cognition refers to the way you look at things—your perceptions, mental attitudes, and beliefs. It includes the way you interpret things—what you say about something or someone to yourself. You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment.” He goes on to say, “That’s one of the peculiar things about bad moods - we often fool ourselves and create misery by telling ourselves things that simply are not true.”

Three factors are clear from the study of Cognitive Behavior Therapy: 1) Cognitive therapy works. 2) The way you feel is related to your thinking. 3) You can feel better by changing the way you think.

Let’s look at this briefly.

1) Cognitive therapy works.
In Cognitive therapy the focus is on your thoughts and identifying faulty thinking or belief patterns. Research has shown this method to be effective in dealing with a variety of problems, including anxiety, panic attacks, stress-related disorders, relationship & marital problems, and especially depression.

2) The way you feel is related to your thinking.
Thoughts and beliefs have the greatest impact on your emotions and behavior. The problem with distorted thought patterns is that they falsely influence the way a person perceives or interprets events in their life. Studies show that these negative thought processes are generally “learned” in early childhood, and become automatic over time. Then because they have become so deep-rooted and habitual the individual often doesn’t recognize distorted thinking for what it is. However, the consequences of wrong thinking is hindering everything they do.

3) You can feel better by changing the way you think.
It is important to understand that Cognitive Therapy is not just “positive thinking.” CT is all about retraining the way a person thinks and how they view life. It is about thinking: accurately, logically, and realistically. Anyone who learns the technique of looking at their thoughts and the influence being exerted on their emotions by their thoughts, will benefit from the knowledge and application of this skill to their life. Cognitive Therapy really is the essence of "Change Your Thinking — Change Your Life."

How Cognitive Therapy works:
First, you become aware of your thoughts and what they are telling you. Secondly, you identify the thought patterns that are influencing you and determine how these thoughts are being interpreted by you. Are they accurate? And thirdly, scrutinize and challenge your negative thoughts and emotions. What has triggered the negative thoughts? Question why you are vulnerable to these thought patterns in this area of your life? Step back from the problem and look for a different perspective or interpretation. Finally, determine that your thoughts and feelings are accurate before you act on them.

Note: Negative thought patterns frequently occur when you are under stress, overly tired, or when confronted with an emotionally-loaded event or particularly difficult problem. In the beginning, as you are trying to make these changes to the way you think, you will find that just when you need to be the most clear headed (in the middle of a problem) that is when these twisted thinking patterns generally hit. However, with determination, you will be able to retrain your automatic thoughts and habitual responses and learn how to effectively deal with any problem or challenge with a clear head. These beneficial coping skills will enhance your self-esteem, build your confidence and positively influence every area of your life. — Some portions adapted from an article on Cognitive Therapy by Dr. William C. Sanderson

Ten Ways to Untwist Your Thinking
From “The Feeling Good Handbook” by David D. Burns, M.D. © 1989

After you have identified your distorted thinking patterns from Lesson 3, Dr. Burns offers these suggestions for helping you to untwist those thoughts.

1. Identify The Distortion:
Write down your negative thoughts so you can see which of the ten cognitive distortions you’re involved in. This will make it easier to think about the problem in a more positive and realistic way.

2. Examine The Evidence:
Instead of assuming that your negative thought is true, examine the actual evidence for it. For example, if you feel that you never do anything right, you could list several things you have done successfully.

3. The Double-Standard Method:
Instead of putting yourself down in a harsh, condemning way, talk to yourself in the same compassionate way you would talk to a friend with a similar problem.

4. The Experimental Technique:
Do an experiment to test the validity of your negative thought. For example, if during an episode of panic, you become terrified that you’re about to die of a heart attack, you could jog or run up and down several flights of stairs. This will prove that your heart is healthy and strong.

5. Thinking In Shades Of Grey:
Although this method may sound drab, the effects can be illuminating. Instead of thinking about your problems in all-or-nothing extremes, evaluate things on a scale of 0 to 100. When things don’t work out as well as you hoped, think about the experience as a partial success rather than a complete failure. See what you can learn from the situation.

6. The Survey Method:
Ask people questions to find out if your thoughts and attitudes are realistic. For example, if you feel that public speaking anxiety is abnormal and shameful, ask several friends if they ever felt nervous before they gave a talk.

7. Define Terms:
When you label yourself ‘inferior’ or ‘a fool’ or ‘a loser,’ ask, “What is the definition of ‘a fool’?” You will feel better when you realize that there is no such thing as ‘a fool’ or ‘a loser.’

8. The Semantic Method:
Simply substitute language that is less colorful and emotionally loaded. This method is helpful for ‘should statements.’ Instead of telling yourself, “I shouldn’t have made that mistake,” you can say, “It would be better if I hadn’t made that mistake.”

9. Re-attribution:
Instead of automatically assuming that you are “bad” and blaming yourself entirely for a problem, think about the many factors that may have contributed to it. Focus on solving the problem instead of using up all your energy blaming yourself and feeling guilty.

10. Cost-Benefit Analysis:
List the advantages and disadvantages of a feeling (like getting angry when your plane is late), a negative thought (like “No matter how hard I try, I always screw up”), or a behavior pattern (like overeating and lying around in bed when you’re depressed). You can also use the cost benefit analysis to modify a self-defeating belief such as, “I must always try to be perfect.”

A FOUR-STEP PROCESS FOR ELIMINATING DISTORTED THOUGHTS
The following technique is from the THE DEPRESSION WORKBOOK By: Mary Ellen Copeland, M.S., M.A.

There are several simple and very effective techniques for eliminating stress-producing, distorted, and negative thought patterns or changing them to positive ones. By systematically examining thought patterns and applying behavioral techniques, you can change the way you think and feel about yourself and your life. This will have a profound effect on your moods, and will greatly enhance the quality of your life.

The four steps in this process involve:
1. Identifying your emotion
2. Describing the situation that gave rise to the emotion
3. Identifying the distortion in your thought process
4. Refuting the distortion

Read through the example below.

1. WHAT EMOTION (OR EMOTIONS) ARE YOU FEELING NOW?
I am feeling angry, tense, and anxious.

2. DESCRIBE, IN DETAIL THE EVENT OR SITUATION THAT GAVE RISE TO YOUR EMOTION.
I went to my friend Peter’s house at 4 p.m., as previously arranged, to go for a walk and have dinner together. He was not at home when I got there.

3. DESCRIBE YOUR THOUGHTS, AND IDENTIFY ANY DISTORTIONS IN YOUR THINKING.
Because Peter wasn’t there, I decided he really didn’t want to spend the time with me, that he really doesn’t like me and doesn’t respect my feelings. (This would fit in the category of mind reading.)

4. REFUTE THE DISTORTIONS.
There was only one piece of evidence, his not being there when I arrived, that was the basis for my distortion. The truth is, Peter and I have been close friends for a long time. All evidence indicates that he likes me a lot. An emergency may have come up, he may have gone to do an errand that took longer than anticipated, he may have misunderstood the plan that we made or he may have forgotten that we made a plan (or I may have misunderstood) — any of which are acceptable reasons and do nothing to lend credence to my distorted thought. The best course of action for me would be to wait on his porch until his return; or leave him a note asking him to call me when he gets in.

Practice using this four-step process for eliminating distorted thoughts. For your first try, choose a situation in which the distortion in your thinking is fairly easy for you to identify. As the process becomes clearer, you can work on situations in which the distortion is more subtle (or in which there are several distortions operating at once). Dr. Copeland suggests using separate sheets of paper to analyze each situation.

This is an excellent process. Simple and easy to use. In time this new way of thinking will become second nature to you and you will be able to recognize a distorted thought pattern before it has a negative impact on your mood or your behavior.

By Changing Your Thinking . . . You Change Your Life!
The following article provides an excellent plan for Going From Thinking About Changing Your Thinking to Changing Your Life. The original author of the poem is unknown but Dr. John C. Maxwell has taken the poem and created an excellent article on applying these truths to your life. It is included here because it is inspirational and worth putting into practice.

By changing your thinking, you can change your beliefs.
When you change your beliefs, you change your expectations.
When you change your expectations, you change your attitude.
When you change your attitude, you change your behavior.
When you change your behavior, you change your performance.
When you change your performance, you change your life!

This is Lesson 4 in a series of 5 articles entitled
FIVE life-Changing Lessons Crucial to Your success!

This inspiring series of articles is a free gift from MessageRocks.com.
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Wishing you all the best that life has to offer!
— Lauren Sage Alexander —
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